'The Poison of the sidelong glance'

I have been trying to write this blog post in my head for over a week now. My perfectionist side was insisting that I listen to the sermon again ( which would make it the third listening) - perhaps even pausing to quote directly from the podcast. The sensible time-saving mummy in me said, 'Life's too short! If people are interested they will listen to it themselves'. Listen here.

The sermon uses the text of the parable of the workers in the vineyard. Remember this one? All the workers get the same amount, even though some people were hired only one hour before COB. I think its easy with much of scripture, to heartily enjoy watching the Pharisees getting their comeuppance, but when it is us getting challenged, it isn't very funny... I used to think that I was one of the latecomers who worked before the end, but after being a Christian a little while, I'm starting to feel like one of the early risers who started with the morning dew.

Ben Merkle persuasively showed me that I spend way too much of my life comparing my 'share' to others. I look around and think that 'she has it easier than I do because her kids are older' or 'she has it easier because she's single'. Merkle makes the point that we are usually perfectly happy with our lot, until we see that someone's else's is larger, or sweeter, or has more cream on top.

As we raise our eyes up, to the King of Kings, to our sacrificial lamb and resurrected King from whom we receive our promised denarius, perhaps we will be less poisoned by unhappiness and discontent.

So there you have it, my pared back, simplified, non-perfect review, now go listen to the podcast, I promise it will tear you down and lift you up again.

Separation Anxiety

Storing all these things up in her heart

So this post is about separation anxiety, the weird thing is, I think feel it more than Evangeline! Sometimes I find myself watching her play with her new tooth or doing an unexpectedly coordinated 'victory dance' in her highchair - then it strikes me...

My baby is going to grow up, and go to uni and work and maybe get married and maybe live in a country away from me - perhaps even die before me. Perhaps, worst of all, she may never know Christ - which would be the worst grief of all.

No marriage in heaven?

That thought gives way to another, in that Jesus said that in heaven, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In that case, I suppose there is also no procreation? How can that be?

Perhaps, as the 'teacher' said in Ecclesiastes, there is a time for every activity under heaven. Is marriage a temporary institution to illustrate Christ's sacrifice on the Cross? Also, the church's submission to Christ? What about children? are they meant to tug and break our hearts to show how God has suffered at our turning away?

If my finite love for my child fills me to bursting point sometimes, how must God love us?! Need I even ask when he willingly gave His own Son for us in a way that completely washes us clean of our turning away and teenage style rebellion?

As Cowper wrote - 'and sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains'.