I've had this blog for a long time now. It has undergone a few deaths and at least one resurrection after a drive-by slanging in my comments. Now, about 10 years later I'm still not quite sure what my purpose in blogging here is.
I started blogging as a way of letting off steam, reflect on life, my work, study and personal insights. Then I felt that this was inappropriate and that I lacked the emotional strength to cope with the criticism or feedback that goes with a public blog. Add to this that my life contained a fascination and interaction with many other people, whose private experiences were not mine to voice. This required a restraint and perpetually bitten tongue, that, given the lack of natural subtlety in my communication, took a lot of careful wording and was not particularly cathartic.
Then came Facebook and networked blogs and it seemed that, now a mum with kids and limited time, composing a soundbite was preferable to the time spent writing, proofreading and editing my work. I felt that blogs still had a place in our more networked social lives, but my own had little to add to what was already out there. After all, was I a Christian blogger? a Mummy blogger? A cooking blogger or profound insight blogger? Well, at once all and none. Did I have shiny photos or catchy posts with guests and funny drawings or videos? Well I like to think I sometimes had the former, but seldom the latter.
Now I find myself, tired of the soundbite and longing for a chance to write and engage more, whether or not I know what my purpose in writing is. Then I realise that this is my purpose, to reflect and clarify my thoughts as Christian, Ministry wife, Mum, Pragmatic Philosopher and reader of diverse books, articles, blogs, soundbites and more.
I am a librarian who wishes to order the internet more systematically, a ministry wife who needs to learn from raw experience to be a comfort, sounding board and nurturer. A mum who is pretty stretched most of the time and needs a place to think beyond the next meal, nappy change or discipline of the next tantrum. I am a philosopher of sorts, who wants to find the meaning in the twisted and interesting world I live in, a reader who needs to reflect on the many things I read.
If you read back over my archives, some have been destroyed and others may not make sense, that's because they are the unprocessed writings that need to a cleaner mind. Sorry about the dirt.
