Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Single Parenting

When the husband is away, as long as I have the luxury to, I like to drop all my usual commitments and really try and work with the kids on doing what we all want to do to make it special.  Daddy is away so we can go to maccas and have an ice cream, before playing in the darkened play area in their jammies right before bed.  It gives it all a holiday feel but it has its drawbacks. When daddy returns we need to slot back into routine and he might be too busy to give them the attention they crave, and I am children-ed out and need time alone.

I am an ambivert, or something, I love chatting to people, and crave adult chats but I would happily spend days at home, reading, pottering, cooking and disappearing into my room.  If the kids are happily engaged, this works a treat, if not, it turns into a house of stress and tension where I just hanker for some time by myself.  The the more I surreptitiously sneak it, the more my five year old torments her brother to extract me.  Or the more my 3 year old seeks me out and asks me to build an Octopod for his sylvanians.

My solution for this is first to give in for 10-15 minutes in the hope that they get engaged and I become unnecessary for their building or play.  The second is to go out, we go out alot. We drive to a place for a nature walk, or to a museum, or the wild life park.  With music playing in the car, the kids reading a book or drawing on a sketchpad or making up a song, I can snatch a whole half hour in my head.  Then, when I do get there, I have my thermos of rooibos and my book, so hopefully another snatched ten minutes ( in 1-2 minute lots sometimes) depending on their on how much I need to intervene with pushing on swings, preventing breakages or resolving disputes.

Reading aloud can be tiring and hard on the voice but I read 'The BGF' to the kids for half an hour today and for those minutes they were completely mesmerised and happy, before started climbing over me and doing somersaults on the couch.  Then I read two more chapters anyway, they were mostly upside down or wedged on my shoulder, but they could still listen.

Great thing about homeschooling, the kids don't need to sit still, be vertical or even the right way up, their ears and eyes still work upside down after all.